The theme of October – Redefining “Sexy”

3 Oct

Recently me and a group of other lingerie bloggers got talking about the “sexiness” -theme and it raised a lot of opinions and views on the matter. So, as we all perceive sexiness differently we decided to make it our October theme as a follow-up to Fit & Active September. This is a topic that is very close to my own interests and I have to warn you that some of my opinions might be triggering. The whole purpose of the month is to show all the colours and shapes “sexy” comes in – it’s not something that can be defined in only one way. And that is what makes it such an interesting topic!

As I talked with other bloggers and also reading some comments on r/BigBoobProblems on one of my recent posts I realised I had a very traditional view on sexiness, I am after all a big fan of black lace, satin and see-through fabrics. BUT as much as I love the feminine way of sexy, I also find a small Rihanna inside me from time to time and this is the kind of sexy I want to talk to you about today.

As a small kid I used to watch a whole lotta music videos, secretly from my mom of course. During the 90’s and early 00’s MTV focused on a lot on hip hop and r&b music which I loved but also had a distinctive voice of sexiness to it. Videos were filled with almost naked bodies, booty shaking and sometimes even strippers in them. They still are, in a different more modern way and here’s the weird twist: I actually freaking LOVE it.

I have to clear this up to you right away: I am a feminist. I truly am one and I don’t see this sexy (or as someone might perceive it, sexist) way of presenting women degrading at all. If these women were forced to show a lot of skin, dance on poles and be only objects of lust I would cringe and scream out loud of anger. But I do not, these women CHOOSE to present them the way they do. Can you image Rihanna being submissive and just doing what she’s told to? No. This girl rocks her own sexuality and I admire her to death. 

I personally love dancing and feel sexy when I rock the dance floor and gain a few gazes. It’s vain and a little bit silly but I do it for fun and I do for ME. This is actually the essence of what I think sexiness means: looking good and attractive while doing something that you love and stand behind til the end. As a person who absolutely adores the beauty of both female and male bodies I would say some things attract me more than others but what is the most sexiest thing about people in general is seeing them doing something passionately. Musicians? Hell yes. A man playing squash? Yes please. You get what I mean? There is nothing more sexy than a sweaty body that’s given its all and this is why even those strippers on Rihanna’s “Pour it up” make me sigh in awe.

As this is our monthly theme I’ll be posting link round-ups on the topic and hope you’ll learn something new about what sexy means to different people! Also I’d love to hear your opinions on the matter; what “sexy” means to you, when do you feel sexy etc.? Let me know in the comments!

7 Responses to “The theme of October – Redefining “Sexy””

  1. Jame October 28, 2013 at 2:35 am #

    I am really late to this party but I thought I’d chime in. I found your post through an hourglassy link to a roundup.

    For me, I find that as a black woman, I am pretty pigeonholed in the type of “sexy” available to me. The only type do sexy for black women is the type displayed by Rihanna and the other women in the videos. You don’t see women like me (especially ladies who are darker or bigger or both) who get to be sexy in pencil skirts, or as pinup girls, or in fit and flare dresses or any of the so called “classy” sexy images out there. I just don’t feel like sexy is all that inclusive.

    Maybe I’ll have time for a blog post before the month is up.

    • sophie October 28, 2013 at 10:11 pm #

      Great to have your perspective here! I totally agree but haven’t really thought of it that way. I would love to see black women rocking a pin up look in the media! 😉 And yes please, do write a blog post and I will link back to it when I make a “Redefining Sexy” round-up.

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