Tag Archives: blogging

#NotForYourPleasure – Fighting against Rape Culture

31 Jan

So, to be honest, I really don’t know how to start this whole post. It’s a topic that has been going around in the wonderful (and as you may notice when you keep reading, not so wonderful) world of internet. This January seems to be the month when people have started to speak up about sexual assault and violence, especially on the internet and social media, so after talking about the topic for a while, me and Charlotte from CurvyGirlThin (click to read her brilliant post!) came up with a idea of a mutual hashtag for this conversation – enter #NotForYourPleasure. I have to give credit to a few other bloggers though who spoke up before us – the first ones to post about this alarming phenomenon were Leah Shanks, Rolls & Curves, Rachel BeeGee and where I initially found the convo, Le Curvy Kitten. I also had Charlotte asking me for a quote for her piece on the matter, and we brainstormed together the hashtag to go with our posts – to say, this is not okay and we should not be putting up with this.

I started lingerie blogging pretty much three years ago; I was 20 years old, kinda naive and wanted to help women to find their right bra size and to give them an array of options when it came to well-fitting DD+ bras. Little did I know what it actually meant to model for your very own tiny little blog in your undies. At first, I did photograph my bras with a top on because I was so afraid what people might say about me – I knew slut shaming was a big thing and as someone still finding her way out in the world, I did not want to put myself out there too much. At some point though, I was left with a choice – would I be giving my blog my all or leaving it to what it was, my own little place in the internet. I have always been ambitious and when my life turned upside down about two and half years ago, I decided I would take the plunge and not care what other people might think about me.

I would be lying if I said I had encountered the same amount of sexual harassment in my three year of blogging as the ladies that came out with the matter about a week ago – I haven’t got rape threats, I haven’t received dick picks and the creepy messages have been far and few between. But it doesn’t mean that my few experiences don’t matter – I still have experienced my body and my blog being sexualised on a regular basis, whether it’d be porn-filled Twitter accounts following me or men emailing me about their fetishes – even women emailing to me about their lingerie fetishes! I have had my blog linked to a public online forum where the whole point of the conversation was to drool and wank over lingerie bloggers and try to peek their nipples through a see-through bra. I have had people impersonating me online, on Facebook in fact, using my bra pics in their profile and using it to do God knows what. So I have definitely had my fair share of harassment.

The thing that really baffles me all the time while encountering these problems is that WHY do people choose to target women in lingerie or even fully-clothed as something (yap, something, not someone) that are there for their pleasure and even think that we would be glad to receive such attention? There is ACTUAL porn online, there are cam girls, there are people who strip butt-naked on the internet either for money or for fun/ their own sexual satisfaction and I personally feel it’s pretty easy to tell if someone enjoys certain kind of attention or not(for example you can be pretty sure that on a porn site, the person on a web cam wants to be there or at least gets some money for it). But then again, these people who assault and harass us are not just looking for porn – they are looking to use their power over us, to use our vulnerability to violate us for their own pleasure. Because they are usually just pure dickheads and/or sadists who want to push their own “masculine power” and fantasies over us. Because, they simply can.

I have heard countless times that rape culture does not exist. It makes me so frustrated not only because these people shut their ears and eyes from what’s happening around them, but also belittle our experience as women who face these problems EVERY SINGLE DAY. If it’s not online, it’s there on the streets. It’s the feeling of not being able to look someone in the eyes, because you are worrying about giving them a wrong signal. And it’s so wrong! Cause no matter if I looked down or winked at you on the street, there is no way anything I do is an “invitation” unless I say that I actually want something sexual with you. Same applies to clothing: whether I am online or offline, wearing a burka or a lingerie, it does not say anything about my wants or sexual desires – I have a mouth for speaking, I don’t need clothes for it.

I don’t only encounter harassment online because of being a lingerie blogger – I am always hesitant to mention my blogging niche, especially to guys, as it usually gains some kind of an unwanted reaction. Finnish people are mostly quite chill about it – that’s how our culture is, we try not to show our emotions or reactions too much to other people – but as I lived in UK, I really felt some men found it easier to push my boundaries as I had already put myself out there in a way that is commonly seen as “sexual”. I am also terrible in uncomfortable situations like that – I try to laugh it off even though I am boiling inside. Some might say that I am doing a disservice to myself by not saying anything to those douchebags, but if you are a woman and have experienced anything like this, you know that it is also an issue of safety. Laughing it off is kind of self defence that is sometimes crucial when you don’t know if the harassment and/or assault is going to get worse after saying something negative to the person harassing you.

I am tired of being scared anymore. I am tired of people saying some girls “are just asking for it”. Cause well, we literally DIDN’T ask for it. People have words for expressing their desires and not me nor any of my lingerie blogger friends have ever put up a dating ad on our blogs or social media. None of us have said, yes please, send me dick pics and talk dirty to me. Wearing lingerie online does not say anything about us. Not even that we have a thick skin and can take the bullshit that comes with our beloved hobby. I could write a whole post about lingerie not even being inherently sexy or sex-related but that is a whole another topic, which is eg already addressed on the Lingerie Addict. Please read that article if you think otherwise.

If you feel like taking part in this conversation and telling about your experiences with sexual harassment and assault, especially online, we will be using the hashtag #NotForYourPleasure on social media from now on. Also, feel free to write a blog post of your own and leave a link down below in the comments so I can check your post out and promote it on social media. All experiences are valuable and need to be heard so we can tackle this problem so many women encounter on a daily basis!

How to Start Lingerie Blogging – The Dos and Don’ts of Starting Your Own Brog

10 Nov

I have been blogging about lingerie for quite a while now – it is nothing compared to the likes of Fuller Figure Fuller Bust or the Lingerie Addict but I can safely say that I am one of those bloggers that actually started blogging about lingerie more or less actively. Since then, the scene has burst out quite a bit and now, you can find new bloggers all the time eg through the Bratabase blog roll (speaking of that, I might do a favourite bra blogger roundup soon!). As most of the newcomers have not been “in the game” for more than a couple of months, I would like to give you a nice package of Dos and Don’ts of lingerie blogging and things to consider before setting up your very own blog. By no means I am an expert (hell, I have had the same blog layout for three years!) but I do know something and hope to share a bit of it to you, my dear readers.

DSC_0045DSC_0740
The best part of lingerie blogging: meeting new people. The first pic is taken in London at night when I met the one-woman wonder Blue Reign for cocktails. The second one portrays Anna from Bras and Body Image, who is such a dear friend to me and I can’t wait to see her again soon (the pic is taken after Moda at Wetherspoons, yummy!).

Things to consider before starting:

  1. Your focus. Lingerie blogosphere is a large field of different topics and you can easily get sucked in by all the influences and inspiration you might come across. Try to think what would be the main focus on your blog whether its comprehensive lingerie reviews (my thang, as you may have noticed), industry insights, the fashion of lingerie or maybe something to do with body image or other more universal topics related to wearing and buying lingerie. Most bloggers seem to be all about the reviews at the moment – which is amazing for all the different fit info! – but maybe find out what else tickles your fancy, to make your blog more unique and interesting.
  2. Your anonymity/publicity. This was a hard one for me at first as I was a bit afraid what being half-naked on my blog would mean to my personal life. I know it’s a tough decision to make whether it’s about showing your face, body or whether to use your own name but when you make those decisions, make them for yourself and no one else. There is always the fear of getting called out for showing your more “private” bits on internet but those friends are not really your friends. Real friends know it’s your body and your blog and will not try to interfere with it.
  3. Your choice of language. As most of you know by now, I am a Finn meaning English is not my first language. I used to write some of my blog posts both in English and Finnish but as things got bigger, I had to desert Finnish altogether as it was just so much more time-consuming. Choosing English as my primary blog language has brought a lot of good things to me though – most of the lingerie companies I work with are international giants or smaller UK/Polish/US brands who would have never found out about me if I had written in Finnish. Also, writing in some other language than my mother tongue has brought me a much bigger audience than I ever could have hoped for and also, improved my English skills a lot.
  4. Your target audience. I personally never chose a target audience for my blog as I wanted to conquer world and write for everyone. Well, that is not exactly what makes a blog work but could easily lead you to side rails and lose your focus. As I am a full-busted gal myself and wear a small band size, I would say my blog is a very good resource for other girls like me who are perhaps DD+ and share the same passion for comfy lingerie. I am also quite young still – turning 23 in a couple of weeks actually! – meaning I would estimate my readers to be young women like myself. Indeed, my Facebook stats show that most of my fb fans are in the 18-34 yo category. I am also super lucky to have a few guest bloggers on board who clearly give my blog some great additional value and a bigger size range to cover.
  5. How much time and effort you want to put into your blog. This is so important! Too often I see blogs that start out very enthusiastically and then they just stop updating after a while. I do understand it even though it drives me nuts – lingerie blogging can be a very ungrateful job to do as not many people will even find your blog and it is even more difficult to get them to follow you as lingerie is not a topic most people find interesting to read about week after week. Be patient though – if you put enough thought to your blog (pics, text, topics, layout) you will gain some readers slowly but steadily. Usually lingerie blogs never grow to the size of some fashion/lifestyle blogs but the community and the passion for lingerie makes it up a thousand times if you just have patience to stick around.

Many other bloggers and professional blog sites talk about setting yourself some goals before starting a blog and always revising those goals after a certain period of time. I however, have not found this too effective on my blog but I am considering having some more goals in the future. This is why I have set up a goal of writing nine blog posts this month and so far, I am doing pretty good with it. I wouldn’t start by setting a goal of getting as many freebies as you can or making the blog your job one day, but something small that you can achieve in a rather short time so you can actually get the feeling of “I can do this!” It is so important as I sure as hell know that your motivation can drop at times!

So if after all these scarecrows, you want to start a lingerie blog (haha, JK!) I do have some advice for you to cope along the way whether it’s temptations or intimidating industry people. To get you in a right mindset for becoming a good lingerie blogger, here are some actual dos and don’ts that will take you quite far in your “career” 😉

DSC_0246edited
Same picture of me for an upcoming review. The first one is clearly the unedited one, the second one has been edited with some lighting and colour changes and I have vanished a big mole off my rib cage. Simple changes, a huge difference!

DOS

  • Write about things you love and care about. Blogs are a place for people to come and rest their brain a bit or to gain new information. For most people they are purely places of entertainment which is why I try to keep my blog as positive as I can – no one needs a truck a load of negativity in a world where news are full of wars and other bad things. Be honest about the products you write about but don’t bash – it brings nothing valuable to anyone. If a certain product doesn’t work for you, try to consider who it might work for. If you hate something a company has sent to you, send it back instead of writing tons of shit about it.
  • Put effort into your pictures. I know some lingerie bloggers are not keen to show their face on their blog but somehow, I find the blogs with an actual face much more relatable. However, if you are sure keeping anonymity is your top priority, try to put effort into your pics in any other ways possible. Lighting and background are super important – people want to look at visually agreeable pics and keeping it simple and accurate you can make your reviews much more information filled. A white wall next to a big window is always a good option for a background! Also, take a few moments to edit your pics as no photo turns out perfect at the beginning. You don’t need Photoshop but simple a simple editing tool to tweak the lighting and colours a bit.
  • Let brands know when you have written about their products – they are likely to post your review on their social media and maybe, if they like your blog they might just send you something to review in the future! Of course, not all brands are interested in smaller blogs but some are actually very friendly and will be interested to work with bloggers who are honest – but do it in a nice way.
  • Set up social media accounts to share your blog posts and other stories via Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Also, be sure to endorse other fellow bloggers as well – you can form such great friendships through blogs and get the support you need when life treats you and your blog badly. I have chatted with my blog sisters countless of times about mean comments and other things and even stayed at their homes when travelling across the world. What could be more fun!

DSC_0278 DSC_0287DSC_0265
Sometimes shoots with Jo turn into something goofy and arty at the same time. Way to get good giggles out of blogging 😉

DON’TS

  • Don’t blog for freebies. I know other bloggers have said it before but really, blogging to get something financially benefiting out of it is usually waste of time as people will see through you.
  • Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Some brands will stay clear of bloggers who swear or put too much of their own personality in their work but usually, those bloggers with most genuine content are the successful ones. I have told a familiar brand rep (HI STEVE!) to fuck off for making too pretty lingerie only up to DD but he got the joke and burst into laughter. Cause he gets me and so will all the best people. You don’t need to be tasteless and scentless to be liked and you don’t need to be liked by everyone in the first place.
  • Don’t get down about creeps. They will always be there, they will most likely wank at your blog pics cause these guys haven’t found out yet that there is actual porn that exists. Don’t reply to their emails or any sorts of messages and if you really want to get rid off them, check each account that follows you on social media and if necessary, block them. I have had several porn accounts following me on Twitter and it makes me sick, so I just block them completely. My blog is not porn or your wanking-material, it is not made for guys to drool over me but for women who need help picking out bras. End of story.
  • Don’t be too naive about some brands trying to “work” with you. If you get an email suggesting a guest post on your blog from an actual e-commerce site, they are just trying to take advantage of you. Any blog posts that are done in collaboration with a brand who has approached YOU, should be compensated somehow. That does not have to be money, but it sure as hell shouldn’t be a sodding 10% from one of their products. Your time and effort is valuable and they should respect it. Also, don’t sell your work or ad space for too cheap as blog marketing is a huge deal and some brands want to take advantage of its on-trend status without practically paying you anything. Respect yourself and your own work.
  • Don’t get into blog drama or fights. Things can get a bit intense sometimes and exchanging opinions is totally fine – until it turns into a pointless row which will only burn bridges. If you don’t agree with someone, think twice if it’s worth mentioning about and if it is, try to phrase it the way no one gets extremely offended.

Blogging is a fun hobby and blogging about lingerie is truly, really such a sisterhood of women who support each other no matter what. The best thing about these three years I have been blogging is definitely the people – the friends I have made, the brand reps  I have met and the little notes that are sent along with the packages I receive. I know it might sound a bit fake to some but I truly believe lingerie industry is such a welcoming one compared to the fashion industry as a whole.

If you have any tips of your own or questions regarding starting your own blog, please let me know in the comments! I would also be happy to answer any questions you might have 🙂

Introducing Scantilly: Curvy Kate’s Naughty Sister!

15 Aug

You may have bumped into Scantilly already – she is a frivolous little thing Curvy Kate came up with to satisfy their customers’ more specific needs, that is erotic full-bust lingerie. I did not include Scantilly in my Moda roundup post last time when they were first released to the crowd as I felt there were enough bloggers already raving about the new range. This time however, I am early in the Scantilly bandwagon and will show you all six styles at once. The first three sets, telling the stories of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, will be launched any day now and the next three sets will be launching in November – just in time for my birthday! Also, there is a lovely naughty little story/competition I will tell you all about in a minute… So tag along!

DSC_0054 DSC_0055  DSC_0059 DSC_0058DSC_0063
From top to bottom: Peek-A-Boo, Pounce, All Wrapped Up

First, I really need to address that traditionally ‘erotic’ lingerie has never really intrigued me – I am not sure why as it seems to be the thing for many women out there and has exploded massively after the 50 shades phenomenon came alive. To me, traditionally sexy lingerie has just felt a bit boring and sometimes even cheap – the materials are usually quite tacky and the fit is poor, which is not an option for someone who writes about lingerie on a weekly basis! However, I do like the idea of having something special when you just feel like a total babe and perhaps, it is this sweet spot that the Scantilly range touches in me. It does have the same sexy feel to it as some more mainstream erotic brands but the materials and the execution just seem a bit more sophisticated and interesting to me.

The Scantilly range will be released biannually just as with the regular Curvy Kate collection but each drop will include three styles to continue a certain story that can be read in the brochures (which are super limited, sorry Anna for stealing this one! I am a horrible person…) which will come together as a writing competition in the end. First six styles will come with a story about each weekday with the Sunday left to mystery – this is where you come in! All Scantilly fans have the opportunity to write a story ending of their own which makes it all more interesting and seems like a nice way to engage customers in a fun way. I certainly will be taking part and perhaps… publishing my story ending here on the blog as well 😉

The first three styles of the Scantilly range, called Peek-A-Boo, Pounce and All Wrapped Up are fantastic designs to start the collection with and I pretty impressed with the unique and fun ways that Scantilly embraces the whole erotic theme. Of course, I am a fan of suspenders which is why this collection makes me particularly happy (although I never seem to wear them really…)! Also, the Peek-A-Boo set features a lovely open-back bottom which I adore. Nothing is done in trashy way and I have to say, I would adopt any of these babes in my lingerie collection in a heart-beat!

DSC_0746 DSC_0747   DSC_0758DSC_0753DSC_0757
Top to bottom: Peek-A-Boo, Invitation, Surrender

With the next three styles the Scantilly girl goes even a bit wilder with some lovely reds, straps and see-through materials. It is no secret or wonder which one of the new November styles is my favourite – the boneless Surrender-basque is definitely something different in the full-bust scene! However, the red Peek-a-Boo and Invitation are both stunning designs as well and again, both come with the infamous open back bottoms. To be honest, from the red and black Peek-A-Boo sets I would probably go for the red one as black is not really my thing. Also the pink shade of the Invitation hints of innocence when the half cup shape of the bra leaves a bit more on the show.

The Scantilly range has a bit narrower size range than Curvy Kate but still goes from DD to HH which is very impressive for such a new collection. Also, if the collection turns out to be a success, the cup sizes will definitely be extended in the future. How do you feel about Scantilly and which of the styles is your favourite? Let me know in the comments below! xx

Winners of the Blogiversary Giveaways Announced!

25 Feb

CIMG0004

This is the moment you’ve all been waiting for. First of all, I want to thank each and every one of you for taking part in the celebrations and visiting my social media platforms at the same time. I am so grateful for every like and follow, lots of kisses to everyone! Now without further a do I will announce the winners…

The winner of Curvy Kate lingerie set is… Roslyn X

The winner of Panache lingerie set is…. Tessa Q

The winner of Tutti Rouge lingerie set is… Natalie C

The winner of Parfait “Charlotte” set is… entropia

The winner of My Curves & Me lingerie set is… Chris M

The winner of  £50 gift voucher for Large Cup Lingerie is… Tori

The winner of Kris Line lingerie set is… Veronica H

The winner of €50 Avocado gift voucher is… Lyza J

The winner of Lepel lingerie or swimwear set is… Stephanie D

Wooooohoo, congratulations to everyone who won! I have already contacted you via email so if you don’t see an email from me in your inbox, please check your spam. The winners need to reply to my email within a week’s time to claim their prize. If they fail to do so, another winner will be drawn.

Again, thank you for everyone who took part and I love you to bits, gals! ❤

My 2nd Blogiversary: Parfait “Charlotte” Giveaway

9 Feb

charlotte

Parfait by Affinitas has been one of my favourite American based lingerie brands since I first burst with 2COP into the lingerie blogosphere. They came into my attention again recently because of this lovely collaboration with Invest in Your Chest -blog – and I was left swooning over the sexy imagery. As a fan of their amazing retro-style Charlotte set I was absolutely over the moon when Parfait contacted me and asked if I wanted to gift this beautiful set to one lucky reader in my blogiversary giveaways! The Charlotte in Icy Blue comes in sizes 30-40 D-K along with the bikini brief in XS-XXL.

To enter the giveaway, just follow the link below and the instructions on Rafflecopter. The only mandatory task to enter is commenting on this blog post by answering the question I have set up on the Rafflecopter widget. Other tasks will gain you more entries and increase your chance of winning 😉

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/b3aac76b9/?

When it comes to the rules of the raffle, all of our giveaways will run until 22nd of February 2015, 12 am (GMT). The winners will be chosen randomly by Rafflecopter and announced on my blog soon after the raffle closes. If a winner fails to claim their prize within a week’s time of announcement, there will be another winner drawn. Now, get entering and good luck! xx

My 2nd Blogiversary: Kris Line Blogiversary

9 Feb

fortuna soft bra czarny

I had the privilege to get to know some awesome Polish lingerie brands last year and I am happy to have a couple of them taking part in my blogiversary. One brand that raised particular interest was Kris Line, who have agreed to gift one set of their lingerie to a lucky 2COP reader. I personally adore Kris Line for their massive size range and detailed lingerie so I am sure you will enjoy their underwear too! Kris Line has a size range of A-O cup (Kris Line sizing!) and the prize is subject to availability.

To enter the giveaway, just follow the link below and the instructions on Rafflecopter. The only mandatory task to enter is commenting on this blog post by answering the question I have set up on the Rafflecopter widget. Other tasks will gain you more entries and increase your chance of winning 😉

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/b3aac76b6/?

When it comes to the rules of the raffle, all of our giveaways will run until 22nd of February 2015, 12 am (GMT). The winners will be chosen randomly by Rafflecopter and announced on my blog soon after the raffle closes. If a winner fails to claim their prize within a week’s time of announcement, there will be another winner drawn. Now, get entering and good luck! xx

My 2nd Blogiversary: Large Cup Lingerie Giveaway

9 Feb

946534_538554706185803_1961721811_n

Large Cup Lingerie is one of the first companies I ever worked with when I started blogging two years ago. I reviewed the beautiful set pictured above, the Fraulein Annie “Falling in Love”. This online store is guaranteed to offer the best lingerie basics and most attractive prices plus a free worldwide shipping! LCL is offering 2COP readers a chance to win a £50 gift voucher to be spent in their online shop so you can choose something that really tickles your fancy 😉 LCL offers bras up to K-cup and the prize is subject to availability.

To enter the giveaway, just follow the link below and the instructions on Rafflecopter. The only mandatory task to enter is commenting on this blog post by answering the question I have set up on the Rafflecopter widget. Other tasks will gain you more entries and increase your chance of winning 😉

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/b3aac76b5/?

When it comes to the rules of the raffle, all of our giveaways will run until 22nd of February 2015, 12 am (GMT). The winners will be chosen randomly by Rafflecopter and announced on my blog soon after the raffle closes. If a winner fails to claim their prize within a week’s time of announcement, there will be another winner drawn. Now, get entering and good luck! xx

Mette Sofia - Makeup & Hair artistry

- for the beauty, the drag and the art ever-fab

CurvyGirlThin

a curvy girl's exploits in the wardrobe

Lucy's Corsetry

A Comprehensive Source for all things Corsets, Waist Training and Tightlacing

comicsgirlsneedbras.wordpress.com/

For the perfect fit and beyond...

The Lingerie Addict - Expert Lingerie Advice, News, Trends & Reviews

The world's leading website dedicated to intimate apparel. Discover the lingerie of your dreams - no matter your size, shape, age, or budget.

Sweet Nothings

Everyone deserves a little sweetness.

Big Cup Little Cup

UK Lingerie Blog

the musings of Renzilla

My thoughts one blog post at a time

The Petite Collegiate

A fit focused love affair with lingerie

Miss Victory Violet

Vintage Fashion, Hair & Beauty and everything in between!

Junebugs and Georgia Peaches: The Adventures of Modern June Cleaver + Amelia Jetson

A blog about lingerie, bra fit and all things D+. A love letter to lace, dresses and pinup lifestyle.

Bras and Body Image

One girl's perspective on boobs, bodies, self-image and society

Kupista asiaa

A blog about lingerie, bra fit and all things D+. A love letter to lace, dresses and pinup lifestyle.

Fuller Figure Fuller Bust

A UK plus size fashion and lingerie blog with a little extra padding.